The Art of Waiting

[Editor’s note: Second part of Marc & Tin’s testimony]

Perhaps now you are wondering, whatever happened to Tin’s bag? How would all these end? I suggest let’s not rush.

Let me continue by sharing how it felt when you lose something – agitation is there, tension rules your reasoning and then chaos; it’s all action, everything is in motion and has to be kept going. Yes, we did just that, exhausted every effort in locating and retrieving (a long-shot) what was lost. But perhaps, the most brilliant thing we did was to let go of all these thoughts on the third day. Tin asked me, “What now?” There is only one answer I can mutter and to which I am very accustomed to all my life, “We wait.

“Wait for whom, what and WHY?”

As we go through this idle phase, I realize, waiting is another thing in life we can’t do away and yet we dread to do – the other thing is change.  I personally dislike waiting. No matter how much I steer clear of it the more it becomes integral in my daily grind.

At work, I hanged on, waiting for my regularization. I was hired at the agency in March 2006. My first 2 years in the agency is passable – nobody ruffling my feathers nor was I bothered of doing the same thing over and over.  But it is true that as you grow old and accustomed and getting my roots deeper, you begin to wonder and the mind begins to wander. “Why am I still here?  Is there anything else in store for me here?” Then you begin to do something drastic about your current situation.

When I transferred in the Head Office – September 2009, it was not my top priority to get a regular position but to gain more experience in my work, although at the back of my mind, I was waiting for the position to open. Opportunity came and a regular position was opened for me on May 2010, so I applied for it. Then the hard part came, I was caught in a situation that required me to wait. As part of GOCC (Government-owned and Controlled Corporation) the election ban was issued from March – June 2010 (Presidential election), and since the new president was elected in our country there will be a new chairman of the board, set of board members and a new CEO to be appointed by the president – all of these were essential signatories to my application. Another scenario is, our agency had a case that was brought to the senate for investigation; the incentives, promotions and absorptions were on hold. The new CEO came, November 2010, for there was another election ban issued from August – November 2010 (barangay election). My item was reposted for further evaluation and they required a recommendation from my superiors; after that, more revisions were required in my application papers.

In December 2010, I got engaged and in faith pushed through the wedding preparations. Rather than expecting for my promotion to ease up the expenses, we made a step of faith and placed all our trust in God that He will provide for us. Everything was smoothly running until that fateful night of April 12, 2011. As shared by Tin (my fiancée), I got into a fight with a cab driver, the tension was high and it made Tin panic silently that she stood in between the driver and me to stop the fight, and so the story goes.

At that time, we felt dog-tired, desolate and almost giving up. But we did not give up; we just waited. That time, I learned that waiting is very much different from giving up.

In such circumstances, when we are asked to wait, we oftentimes ask the wrong questions. “Wait for whom, what and WHY?” But this act of standing still bears fruit only when we learn the art of doing it, when we finally ask, “How do we wait?”

 

1. Pray.

More often than not, our prayers are laced with grief. Truly you can’t say God is really good when everything is ok and fine. But when ordeals like, “I don’t deserve to be treated like this” or “I deserve something better like what they are or have now” beset you, after a while you struggle then you run to God.  Prayer lets you put things in perspective and this is when I seek God’s purpose and what He wants in my life.

2. Listen.

Also, prayer is not a one-way communication. As we pray, let us also learn how to pay attention to what God wants us to do – our purpose. Oftentimes, prayer becomes our rant session with God – we talk too much about the things we don’t like, we don’t deserve, things we didn’t anticipate.  Why not pray with an open heart and still mind? Pour your heart out and then cast away your worries. Let God do His thing.

3. Yield.

All the hardships that I have experienced made me vulnerable at the same time strong. Sometimes I make things light for me, so that I won’t expect too much of what is ahead. Then I started to notice that I don’t have to suffer and let circumstances say to me that I am no good and cannot achieve much because I don’t deserve it. There are a lot of surprises in my life that made me not regret the sufferings I’ve experienced. Too beautiful that you shove the pain that inflicted you before and say to yourself, Hey, it was all worth it. I don’t care if it was too painful because this is much better now. All these are possible because we yield to His will and wisdom.

After the incident, my papers were signed and approved by the board –April 14, 2011, and I am now a regular employee. Tin and I were mixed with emotions because of the recent incident and the blessing that was answered for more than a year of waiting. Truly God is really faithful to all of us. Moving on and planning for the remake of the wedding preparations, we were reminded not to focus on things but to focus on God – He gives and takes for a purpose, we just have to trust Him. We don’t understand why things happen but we have to place it all in His hands.

Six days have passed since the cab incident when we received a call from Tin’s uncle and mom, April 18, 2011, that the bag along with the laptop, IDs, ATMs, cp, etc. were returned to the barangay hall and is to be claimed there by Tin. God is really sweet in making His children smile, one blessing after another all in a dramatic and beautiful way can all make you stop in awe and say, Wow! This is much better than I expected! We praise and thank you Father God!

One of the things I learned from the cab incident was that prayer alone without any initiative from you won’t come to a reality. Before, I usually pray for something to be returned to me by just doing minimal actions and give up after doing so little. But in this situation, we really have done everything we can think of at the same time praying and accepting what might come, good or bad. When at least you’ve tried to do something about it at the same time praying, it will be a sweet victory when that blessing comes into view. Learned from my regularization, was take the risk and be productive even though you are in a situation you can’t understand. Make use of the resources you have, you don’t have to be in a good paying job to accomplish what is in stored for you to advance yourself. It is like in the parable of the talents, no matter how big or small you’re entrusted of, encouraging or discouraging situations, you make a way to be productive to glorify God. It is all for His glory that we are made.

We could not have done it all without the prayers and help of families and friends…especially our Lighthouse Makati and Heroes Church. Truly there is great joy in celebrating God’s blessings with friends who really are praying for you.

-Marc

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